Lost Love

The barren sound of loneliness ricochets around the empty room
Now soft, now loud: vibrating in tune to her erratic heartbeat
Rapid then listless; now still, a heart immobile in mourning

Her heart’s pain is corporeal; a vacant pit in her belly, an intense ache
Caused by a nerve running through the emotion center of the brain
A raw nerve, dull yet sharply piercing; bending her double in anguish

He’d gone suddenly; had thoughtlessly cast off her nurturing embrace
She doesn’t know what she did, or didn’t do; what act drove him away
Or if it was anything of her at all; she cannot fathom his abandonment
He never said a word; worse, he never actually said good-bye
He’d only left a cruelly brief, hastily scribbled note:
I’m sorry, it’s over, I love another

Imaginings of him in the arms of another bring a temporary insanity
Apparitions of them, sharing stolen affections, loop in her mind
Visions of love she was to have shared through all eternity; and beyond

She sits alone, rocks rhythmically, stares at the blank spots on the wall
Where pictures of children would’ve been hung; children never to be
She cries into linen and lace; missing an infant she’s never held

The phone rings and she startles, the harsh sound unfamiliar
Breaking into the emptiness; stone upon a still pond, waves of sound
Spreading outward in ripples, silence dissipating with each shrill tone
She answers as fear closes her throat; wonders ‘what bad news now?’
His voice pierces her pain; then soothes it away as he pleads:
I’m sorry, I was wrong, I want to come home

Welcomes his back with adoring arms; entwining in warm embrace
Her lost love has come home; the earth turns and darkness flies away
All is light, life is good; full of the triumph of two who’ve beaten the odds

He’s changed in his time away; he’s far kinder, less impatient, better
He’s learned his lesson; she forgives, forgets and prepares for children
Evidence of love, new beings to journey through eternity; and beyond

The phone rings, she answers eagerly, anticipating his arrival home
The voice she hears belongs not to him but to an unknown other
Aching fear closes her throat; breathing stops,  ‘what bad news now?’
A sad, deep voice conveys the impossible news; the nerve fires up again
A raw nerve, dull yet sharply piercing; bending her double in anguish
I’m sorry ma’am, he’s gone, a terrible car crash

Months melt into years; the earth turns, times goes on, but not she
Seasons pass relentlessly, spring gives way to summer, autumn portends
Winter, now her favorite time of year; the cold darkness speaks to her

Winter conveys lost love; she is frozen solid, locked in timeless agony
She would laugh bitterly if you tried to tell her: ‘time heals all wounds’
‘Not true”, she would counter; clearly, succinctly and with a certain pride

He’d gone suddenly; ripped by cruel fate from her nurturing embrace
No way to know why they were targeted, why chance and circumstance
Took him away without warning; she cannot fathom his absence
He said: ‘See you later, my sweet’ but he never actually said good-bye
His death took her along for the ride; she will explain it to you this way:
I’m sorry, time can’t heal death, I died with my lost love

©12/23/2015. JB Heston

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s